Follow My Story
Zach and I barely had a relationship before we were preggers. We didn’t have much of a foundation. We were introduced by friends the summer before senior year. After we met, we were inseparable. He would come pick me up from my house in the morning and we would spend all day together until my curfew, at one o’clock in the morning. Even though we spent a lot of time together, I was pretty shy around him because I really liked him. So, he didn’t get to know my full personality before we got pregnant. After we found out we were pregnant, it was like I put a wall up because I was scared. I tried to be the kind of girl I thought he wanted me to be. I would bottle everything up and then explode.
Zach was there for me though. Yes, he did stupid stuff and said stupid things but so did I. Zach went to every doctor’s appointment with me, went to the birthing classes he could go to after work. I don’t know what I expected, but it was almost like no matter what it wasn’t good enough. Which looking back, he did a lot. We were just both really young and put ourself in a challenging situation.
Zach and I had no idea how to talk to each other. We were really good at pushing each other’s buttons and making each other angry, but that’s about it. We had horrible communication skills, horrible. But we kept trying to learn because we knew we really liked each other. But it’s not easy, and it is so much harder knowing there is a baby on the way and trying to plan for a baby.
If I could go back, I wish I would have just been myself from the first day and not put my guard up. I wish I would have told him how much I appreciated him being there for me every step of the way. Unfortunately, Zach became my own personal punching bag at the time because he was the only one I felt comfortable enough to take my anger, fear, frustration, and disappointment out on.