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The First Night (Part 1)

The nurses and Zach got me settled in our postpartum room. I was anxious to get Hayden back and I was starting to get emotionally and physically tired. A couple of Zach’s friends came by and congratulated us and saw Hayden in the nursery. When they brought Hayden back to the room, they left which was really nice. I remember being upset that my mom wasn’t going to stay longer but it was a good thing. Zach and I needed to figure things out together.


The nurse brought Hayden back in and she was crying. “She’s hungry mama!” she told me. I tried to breastfeed right after I had her in the labor and delivery room but it didn’t work out. So I tried again. I was pretty determined to nurse her. So she latched on pretty well but it hurt. The nurse was very helpful and told me to try different positions of holding her. They said the best one was the ‘football hold’ so I put my bobby pillow around me and tried that way. That worked for a while but it hurt so I tried doing other holds. She finally got enough and she went back to sleep.


I can’t even remember if Zach held her other than changing her diapers. I think I held on to her as much as I could that whole night.


Anyways, within the next hour she was hungry again. Every time I tried to take her off my breast, she would cry and cry. I remember laying in my bed and I would be holding her while she nursed or for the few seconds she was off my breast and I would start falling asleep. Zach told me he didn’t want to take her away from me when I fell asleep so he would just sit on my bed and make sure I wasn’t going to drop her or anything. I found out the next day, that she was cluster feeding. She fed so much my nipples were cracked and bleeding. So I had my ‘best friend’, lanolin. It hurt so bad.